Saturday, 20 February 2010

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Friday, 12 February 2010

Christmas Backlog Times Are Changing

October, November and December used to be the perfect time to send story submissions to the editors of magazines. Writers are supposed to have other things to do. They're supposed to be busy with their high-powered day jobs, spending hard-earned credit on presents, and partying so they aren't in a position to weigh down depressed editors with their 500000 words tomes such as, Harry Trotter, He's Not At All Like Harry Potter.

The time to spare editors used to be the end of summer, when all those wannabeeJKs return from homes in France with tomes such as, Gone With the Mistral, A Book Not Unlike Gone With the Wind But Set in France. It's a seasonal thing, but not any more.

Here in Strange Story HQ, a divided packet of chicken chips shared around a single unlit candle invoked the proper spirit of Christmas, and writing continued unabated in the hope of catching the editors in relaxed mood with their feet up, mince pie in hand.

It's always worked before. Maybe it's the credit crunch, but during the last festive season, (which started on Oct 30th), I sent out eight submissions. How many responses have I received? Three! And one submission went red on Duotrope last week, indicating a query was due. Now I haven't had a response to the query. The other editors must still be sitting on top of a pile of emails, or having babies, or both. What is going on?

Wednesday, 10 February 2010

Britain to Recall Billions of Crap Cars

By Ray Flatulent

The reputation of the dead British motor industry took another hammering yesterday with the recall of billions of crap cars manufactured in the UK before they became part of China's Nanjing Automobile company in 2005. Models affected are the Morris Ital, Marina, Austin Allegro, Maxi and Princess.

The move comes after a series of rose-tinted sentimental journeys into the past revealed incompetent British management and woeful under-investment battered the standing of the world's oldest car maker.

Britain’s worldwide problems have caused much hand-wringing and consternation. The British transport minister yesterday blamed everyone else especially the EU for reacting too slowly to the unfolding crisis by several decades.

Read more@

Monday, 8 February 2010

Tabloid Watch and the End of the Quiche As We Know It

Essential reading for anyone still sane is Tabloid Watch which looks suspiciously like The Guardian's Media Monkey.

I love the history behind the pathetic Tesco Quiche non-story that the Daily Mail carried for no known reason and turned into it's-the-end-of-the-world-as-we-know-it. I think Tescos Quiche causes cancer too. (That's an in-joke about the Daily Mail BTW)

So, please after reading this if you still think it's important that The Daily Mail brings us a story about one person who was asked for ID in error when buying a quiche in Tescos you have officially lost the plot.